Blog Response: A Teacher’s Bad Dream:
I can relate. I too find that the stresses in my everyday life often times play out in my dreams. The latest is one, which I haven’t had since University. In it, I am a high school student again, taking an exam for which I do not know the answers. The intense feeling of anxiety is sometimes so great that I often wake up out of breath.
In my case, I believe that my fear of becoming a new teacher and all it’s uncertainties has taken over my subconscious. Consciously, I am aware that I am capable enough to learn the skill of teaching. I believe that with practice, I will be an effective teacher. If I didn’t think so, I wouldn’t be here. However, I believe that my fear of not being competent enough or knowledgeable enough is at the forefront of my subconscious thoughts.
Having reflected on it numerous times, I have concluded that there is a positive side to my otherwise unpleasant and unwanted recurring dream. It is that having the dream keeps me focused on my goal. It motivates me to stay on top of things, manage my time, and ensure that I am prepared. That anxiety and fear that I experience in my dreams is a constant reminder of what can happen if I do not strive to do my best. In other words, it keeps me on my toes.
Rosie, I certainly have empathy with this situation. It was one thing to come back later in life to finish an undergrad degree that should have been finished 15 years ago. (by the way, it was fear of failure that stopped my efforts 15 years ago to go back for my last year) It has been another thing for me to continue as a Teacher Candidate.
ReplyDeleteI have been having a recurring dream ever since September. I have been dreaming in mathematics. I have actually been startled out of my sleep by a quadratic equation. It sounds kind of silly but nonetheless, it is a dream that I have often.
Something else to note is that another recurring dream that I have had ever since I was 15 is a much bigger dream. I clearly remember receiving a calling from God that I was supposed to be a teacher. I had no idea what the particular context was to be but I knew that I was to teach.
I agree that anxiety, when properly handled, can be a healthy thing. I have met so many people in many different walks of life who just ooze confidence. So much so that it is almost obnoxious. Those who are anxious often have a heightened sense of awareness that keeps them sensitive to what it going on around them. I believe that the right kind of anxiety could possibly be birthed out of passion. When we are driven by the pure passion of our souls the bar is certainly raised. My prayer for myself and my colleagues is that we do not lose that passion. Especially when fear is the result of our anxiety. I think that is crux of what I'm saying. Anxiety birthed out of passion is a beautiful thing while anxiety birthed out fear is how we lose focus.
I'm glad to be learning. It has been harder for me lately. It took me forever to get into a mindset that I could attend university and do the work required well. The B. Ed. material is far different. I'm using a part of my brain that I haven't had to use in a long time. God will have mercy on me.
Perpetually Learning: Steve Kroeker