As teachers we might be better off expecting a non-compliant student to show up in our classroom rather than dreading a situation where that student comes under our care. There are many reasons for this type of behaviour. An Identified condition such as ADHD, ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), or a range of other causes like attention-seeking behaviour, anger, peer rejection, etc.
What I've found to be most challenging has been to separate my personal feelings (fear, anger, frustration) from the needs of the troublemaker and the needs of the rest of the class. When I have taken defiance personally I have not been able to feel or show genuine care for the student who has, for example, defied me in front the the class. Caring for the unruly student is not the same as letting him or her carry on with the disruptive behaviour. I can show care for the student as a person while I calmly implement clear, objective procedures such as redirecting, counting down, restating agreed-upon incremental consequences (not "to the office!" on the first trigger), and lots of opportunity for deferred conversations ("We will need to chat after class"), I can maintain control of myself and consequently of my teaching goals and students without giving in to negative emotions.
I need to recognize that most troubled students are carrying wounds from their home environment to school. Obviously, I want to win the battle in order to maintain order and respect. But I have to be careful not to resort to power tactics that only fuel resentment on both sides. If the student needs to be removed from the classroom in the end, let it be in sync with a consistent attitude of caring firmness.
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